When she first met his parents, for instance, she was a little surprised when she had to sleep on the couch for the stay and his family ordered pizza for dinner. Their relationship works simply because "we enjoy the simple pleasures and, fuck, he makes me laugh. Bridging that wide gap: We can pretend we live in a classless society all we want, but there are nonetheless a few inevitable speed bumps that come with mixed-collar relationships.
For instance, money is cited by most couples as one of the biggest sources of fights and stress. Navigating a relationship where your outlooks about money differ can exacerbate the tension of dating someone of a different economic status. In her research, Streib found that people from different classes tend to approach their relationships differently. White-collar professionals like to manage and organize things, while working-class people like to "go with the flow more. Kim, for example, has noticed that Zach tends to dream bigger than she dares. I view home ownership as totally out of reach for me, and I hesitate to get financially involved with him.
He dreams about luxury items like boats and RVs. I just dream about paying off my student loans. Nonetheless, couples in mixed-collar relationships say there's a fairly easy way to transcend economic differences: Letting go of a checklist: People who enter relationships with a "come as you are" attitude often have the most long-lasting ones. That's not going to work, especially if it's class difference — it's just going to be a frustrating experience for both people" Streib told New York magazine.
Couples in mixed-collar relationships echoed this sentiment, saying that in order for such relationships to thrive, you need to detach from both your personal and social expectations of who your partner "should" be. Among other things, that means keeping your ego in check if you're dating someone who has a higher level of education or makes more money than you do.
It also means relaxing some of your personal expectations for who and what your ideal partner "should" be. That doesn't mean settling so much as it means figuring out what really matters to you in a relationship. However marriage is a sacred institution, which does not learn on school curriculum. Examine if the man still has the qualities you saw in him when you were marrying him. If you feel insecure because of his academic papers, support him to be what you want.
Other than the papers, those men you lean towards may be devils. Thou shall love thy husband and gamble not. Education, tribe, lifestyle, career and other things should never affect your marriage. You should learn to accept your partner no matter what he does. I would advise you to let the love you have for him take control. You never know if he might end up acquiring a PhD some day. Do not make the mistake of getting involved with other men as this will only ruin your marriage.
Secondly, you have to be real and frank with each other since communication is a very vital ingredient in relationships.
My advice is that you look for a counsellor to act as mediator and see if you can salvage your marriage. Our street wise in-your-face counsellor Simon and resident giver of good advice Boke will help you resolve it.
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You will also get to hear the opinions of readers just like you. SignUp For Newsletter Get amazing content delivered to your inbox. Subscribe to our daily Newsletter. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Evewoman. Readers Lounge My hubby is less educated than I am, now I don't feel him any more.
By Hilda Boke Mahare 02nd Apr Related Stories Readers Lounge Confessions: By Simon and Boke. My husband has kept this deep secret from me for all these years By Simon and Boke.
My older boyfriend is too mean with his money By Simon and Boke. I was well-spoken and a now a published writer, she more or less spells everything phonetically. She was amazing when it came to these crazy cool art projects that took months or even years to finish.
I think it was meditative for her to work alone on really detailed stuff that connected to a bigger project. I mean, she had the artistic ability to really go far if she kept her ambition.
The Truth About "Mixed-Collar" Dating — From the People Who Make These Relationships Work
I respected her decision-making abilities. She was honest and she respected my strengths as well. If something complicated came up, I got better at making it less complicated and she would often make the decision. Get top stories and blog posts emailed to me each day.