You are trying to attract the right people to you, and to do that you need to be specific. For example, many people say in their profiles they like to travel. Don't assume that the reader is going to know which of these you'd be into! Talk about your favorite travel destinations, your dream vacation or the best trip you ever took - the person who loves your kind of travel - or is intrigued by it - will take note!
Rather than saying "I love to have fun" say "I love having fun - my ideal weekend includes bowling, a Netflix binge and a pancake brunch. If one of your defining values is loyalty, show what that looks like in your life. When you are in love, are you your partner's biggest cheerleader? Have you stood by your beloved losing baseball team? Or your childhood best friends?
Look to your life for actual examples!
Writing An Online Dating Profile
The added bonus of specificity is it gives people who want to reach out to you a "hook" to mention in a message to you. It amazes me how many people use their precious profile real estate to talk about what they don't want or about their cynicism, bitterness or pessimism. Not only do you come across as negative, but you also give the impression that you are the very thing you claim not to want.
If you say "drama queens need not apply" I will assume that you have tons of relationship drama, which means you don't have the self-awareness to see how much of it you create! The better you are at attracting the right people, the more the wrong ones won't be attracted to you. Besides - you can't avoid being contacted online by some people you don't want to date - that's par for the course.
Your focus instead should be on being contacted by those you do want to date! It is more effective to focus on attracting the right people than repelling the wrong ones.
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Another common pitfall is sarcasm in the profile. You might be sarcastic, and that might be what people who know you love about you. But sarcasm doesn't translate well in an online profile, especially if you are a woman! Women might be more forgiving, but very few men will be instantly drawn to a woman who leads with sarcasm. Your profile tells a story.
It shouldn't be a novel consider this a bonus tip! It might tell the story of an athletic, ambitious world traveler, or a geeky, sincere introvert. Or it could tell the story of a bitter, demanding perfectionist. Review your profile, photos and text together and ask yourself:. Your story is dictating who is attracted to you, so make sure you are grabbing the attention of the right people. If you aren't able to be objective about your profile, ask someone you trust to read it for you.
Is it highlighting your best qualities?
What are you saying between the lines? Is it what your ideal partner wants to hear? Are you expressing what is both unique to you and what is attractive to who you want to date? If you can do that, you are winning! And you just might meet the perfect person for you online. Since we're talking about writing a profile, I have to mention spelling and grammar. There is a lot of bad spelling and grammar out there.
And there are a lot of online profiles that list spelling mistakes and bad grammar as a pet peeve.
The Most Successful Words for An Online Dating Profile Have Been Revealed
And some of those same people have spelling mistakes and bad grammar in their profiles! Plenty of people will be forgiving of typos, but don't risk turning off someone just because you didn't use spellcheck.
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The thoughtfulness and care you put into your profile will show and be appreciated by others. So make the effort to clean up your mistakes! Francesca is a professional dating coach and matchmaker. Get more free dating advice, including a guide to your perfect online photos at www.
I Get Paid to Write Dating Profiles—Here’s What You’re Doing Wrong
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