I was told that if I wanted a good husband who made good money and could give me a comfortable life, then I had to marry young. What an idiot I was! I'm so much more patient now then I was even 5 years ago.
I feel like I have a much better sense of who I am and how to vocalize my needs than I did even 5 years ago. I make an excellent salary on my own and have a very comfortable life. It's really interesting that you read about women getting older being some type of curse, but I'm having so much fun at my age. I feel really comfortable in my skin and honestly that comfort and my sense of independence has been great for attracting really really fun great guys.
How To Meet Women In Your 30s
Yeah there might be some wrinkles I got them from smiling so much. My mom made comments and strongly encouraged me to marry young so I could "find a good guy". It was particularly bad in my mid 20s. Thankfully I never really listened to that advice. I'd rather be able to support myself and have a choice to leave than be stuck in a marriage because of money.
I think that a marriage is better when people want to get married not forced into it for economical reasons. I know a lot more at 30 than I ever did at 25 when picking the right person. It's hard enough to do that at any age but nobody really teaches you how to be good at that except for maturity and wisdom sometimes imo. I'm 28 and got of a 6 year relationship 1.
The breakup was hard and I was terrified of being alone and most of my friends are at the point where they're living with a SO or getting married and I'm on my own. I do date here and there and have met my fair share of toads but love doing my own thing.
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I don't miss my ex at all and am so much happier without him in my life. My only regret in life is wasting my younger years with someone who I was never compatible with. I turned 24 a couple of days ago and my parents started the wedding talks. They want me to get married to a guy of their choice, an arranged marriage, and they're trying to scare me into it by saying that no one will want to marry me once I cross It's so messed up.
And I was actually worried that there was some truth to it. Maybe there is in the country I live.
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But if I move abroad abroad for my education, I might not have this problem. This post just cheered me up after days of stress and worry from the fear of ending up alone that they're trying to put on me. Out of curiosity are you asian or middle eastern? This sounds like such an asian thing I'm half asian.
Single women over 30, does dating get harder? : AskWomen
They think post is old. I live in Pakistan. I studied from the best schools here and always got nice grades. I want to go to the US for my PhD if I get admitted fingers crossed, I need to leave this mess but they want me to resolve my plans for higher education around some guy or prospects of marriage in the UK. Are you facing something similar? I can resist them and they can't pressure me, but honestly sometimes I wonder whether there's any truth to this whole bit about me ending up alone if I don't marry before I took this post as a sign.
Maybe I'm reading too much into this. But I needed some home so I don't feel pressured. Well I'm Canadian so honestly, I'm not facing what you're dealing with. You won't end up alone after 26, but you may have to leave Pakistan for a country that's a bit more progressive in terms of age and marriage. Thank you so much. I hope you too get whatever you're striving for. You can go this!
Yes I think you should especially because you want to get more education! I would say the same to any of my relatives in places where it's a bit tougher for women to be independent. They tell me no one will marry me if I'm above Then when that doesn't work they try to bribe me with "oh but the guy will have money, he'll 'let' you study, you won't be happy if you're single. All of this is bs. They just don't understand the idea of marrying for love. So, I am Canadian but I was actually born in Korea my dad is half korean, half japanese and while those countries are slightly more progressive for asian countries, a lot of that mentality has seeped through and a lot of my external family has heard those kinds of things.
I've also had my parents talk to me about marriage funnily enough, almost never from my dad, mostly from my mom who is white though she's eastern european and their cultures aren't quite like western europe. I've also had those fears, too. I'm 28 and I used to think if I wasn't married by 25, I'd never get married. So I completely get your fears, except luckily my parents are on my side in this fight against ageism and they're definitely feminists. It's funny because the older you get, the more people think you're right about not rushing into marriage.
I've had people, who are now married, tell me that I'm smart for not just doing it to get married. A lot of people are unhappy in their marriages because they did it too young or for the wrong reasons. IMO, your parents don't know any better, from the sounds of it. They were probably raised in a society where the norm is for women to just get married and not do much else which is kind of like what both of my parents are used to as well at least in their times, so their mentalities are unusual for where they come from.
You almost can't blame them. They want you to be an "easy" wife because they think that will make your life easier! They aren't doing it to make you feel badly, it's coming from a place of love So it's a choice you'll have to make.
Do you succumb to dumb IMO pressures or do you decide to strive for your own greatness? It's very easy to want to fit the status quo. In fact, a lot of my white canadian friends do that. They seem to just get married, do the normal life thing, and not question much. They don't travel, do anything different, etc. Most people want to fit in, so you're not abnormal for worrying about it. My parents were in your position - they were being pressured into marrying the wrong people, but they chose to do the rebellious thing and study abroad and marry each other.
It won't always be easy, and you may feel alienated from your culture especially if you choose a different path , but you will succeed in the end. You're not taking the "easy" way out and you're choosing to better yourself and to contribute to the world. IMO you should definitely pursue your PhD abroad and you should definitely not let your parents' fears get in your way. You will find someone elsewhere as long as you stay true to yourself and do what is right for you.